A Real Elf

Day 69: Christmas is almost here. I am getting excited even though I am so tired. My husband told me a few days ago that I am like a real elf. I have been sewing and crafting almost everyday since Thanksgiving. I tell myself every year that I am going to start earlier, plan better, not keep adding to my to do list...but here I am again. I think I will be pulling an all nighter tomorrow! I'm too old for this! Ha!

Last year I remember so much of these days leading up to Christmas. I sat beside my husband every night and crocheted while he cheered me on. Tonight he said again that it's like a marathon and he is at the finish line cheering me on, ready to drag me across the finish line, by one ankle, if he has to! I hope it doesn't come to that but I am amused at his enthusiasm! 

So I was sewing (painstakingly handsewed a project together while entertaining 2 babies only to turn it over and realize that the duck head was upside down!) and wrapping gifts today and thinking about how blessed I am.

I am so blessed as a mother.
I am so blessed as a wife.
I am so blessed as a child of God.

It was another incredible year. I feel like it will always be the "worst year" of my life (well at this point I'm hoping that it is anyways) but I am sad to see it go as well. I feel like looking back is a way for me to hold onto what is good and to see what we can have again so it will be saying goodbye to a lot of things that we will never have again.

The new year will bring a lot of opportunity though and I am planning to make the most of it.

Today as I was on the way to the store I turned on the radio and the song Someday By Rob Thomas came on. It is a song that I have listened to quite a few times since finding out. I turned it up really loud (I was by myself) and just bawled my eyes out. I really felt like I needed that this morning. I needed to let go of some of the anxiety that has been building. 

I feel better today than I have for awhile and, though it is not lost on me that it could change in an instant, I am going to try to enjoy it tonight and have a nice night with my husband.

296 days. We'll be better off...someday.