Day 153: Still holding on.
Revisiting some of the songs that I listened to early on.
You said that I would be ok. -- I feel ok somedays. Others I feel like I'm falling apart. Barely breathing with a broken heart that's still beating.
My head and heart are still caught up in a storm most days. I need a great love. I need a big love. I need a deep love. I need to know what forever feels like. I need to know that I'm your all. I need to know that I mean everything to you. That you'll be everything that I need. That you'll make everything ok.
You say that you're sorry. You say that you are working on you. You say that I can believe you.
You say that you were wrong. That you learned from your mistakes. That you would change everything. You say that you'll fight. Fight for a second chance. Fight for us.
212 days. I'm still here. I'm still fighting too. I'm still believing is us.
Your H seems to be truly remorseful and doing all the right things - and you seem to have given him the gift of forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteIn time, you'll be able to file all this in the more distant part of your memory; it'll never be fully forgotten but it won't intrude on your daily life the way it does now.
I promise you - it does get better.