Drawn To Him

Day 139: He's been incredibly patient lately.

Sometimes I wonder if he is actively working on this or if it is just coming naturally now. There is no disappointment either way. I just sense that he is willing and happy to do whatever it takes to make happiness out of all of this. It's working. I feel myself drawn to him when he is peaceful. I wonder how he feels about me lately...? I feel like I am hard to deal with sometimes. He doesn't make me feel that way though. He makes me feel like I can ask for and have whatever I want and he'll supply it.

Last night I got suddenly suspicious about why he was late from work (he said that the road was flooded and he had to go back and around). At first I was totally fine with that answer and then it hit me. Like all the times in the past when he had an excuse. I told him that I was upset about it and couldn't help but notice that he didn't call me to tell me. He got a little excited over it but quickly composed himself and thought about it. He asked me what I was thinking and I told him that I wanted to drive to see if the road was really flooded. He very calmly and empathetically told me that he understood if I wanted to do that and to go if it would make me feel better. I chose not to though. He then said to me that all this means is that he is becoming lax and he does not want that. Wow. It takes my breath away (and it's scary) to think that he really is a changed man.

I think that this may actually all work. I think that we may just heal. I think that there is a way to find happiness again.

226 days. Could it really be happening?