Lock Down

Day 134: Had a good day but couldn't find anything to write about. My baby girl was (and still is) sick and she was in my arms all night long.

Day 135: We were planning a trip to a museum back near where we moved from last summer. Our pass was expiring so we thought we get one last visit in. Well tons of snow and our little man spiking a fever and we decided to stay home and inside. So now with our littlest one sick and our biggest one I decided to take our middle baby -- my little girl -- on a date. Nothing fancy but just being out alone is special! We went to the hardware store, a department store and the grocery store. She really had a good time and all she asked for was yogurt!

When we got home I took care of the baby, who by now was missing me, and then a bit later my husband and I worked together and built a small shelf in the laundry closet to accommodate all of the shoes that get kicked off in the kitchen right by the entry door. We did well together and it turned out to be exactly what we were hoping for.

I made a yummy dinner and then we all settled in for the night. Not a big day...just tried to let the littles rest and feel better,

Day 136: Still have a sick baby and our little man was feeling better but was fighting the end of a low grade fever. We took the day to pick up the house and I FINALLY tackled Mount Laundry. Pathetic, I know, that it took me this long but you don't have to be hard on me. Folding a dozen loads of laundry worth of clothes (or whatever it was!) was punishment enough.

The afternoon was a bust. I found the card I gave him from our most recent anniversary. Reading it just reminded me of how I thought things were going. How I felt so secure and loved. What I wouldn't give to change this...

My husband is joining in on a weightloss competition at work so he wanted to go out to one of his favorite restaurants for dinner. We took the long way, stopped at the craft store (I know, I do that a lot. My home based business is fabric based) and then made our way to the restaurant. The babies all took naps or rested on the way down and were in a great mood during dinner! They are usually well behaved but great moods were a bonus.

It was overall a good weekend.

Day 137: I got out of bed this morning before 10:00. Actually before 9:00 even. I was regretting it a bit later when I got my feelings hurt but I know that staying in bed is not the solution to my problems (even though I like to tell myself that). I woke up with a sore throat and sad because I had let some hurt feelings from the day before linger under the surface and they came with me to today. I was trying to protect myself because my husband was not being his usual attentive, aware, and eager to talk about what is bothering me self. I went into lock down mode and pushed my feelings down and it got me nowhere.

After a short conversation telling him what the problem was he only told me one thing: I would see a difference. I so appreciate that he did not promise that things would change or make excuses. He just said that I would see a difference. That makes me optimistic.

He then motivated himself and put all of the laundry away that was stacked neatly in piles in the living room. What a guy!

He called me from work earlier to tell me that he is in round three of the interview process for a new position, he got a bonus check of several hundred dollars today, and that he thinks they might make the quota for February! All good news. I could hear the smile on his face when he called. Things are definitely going at a different pace than they were even a few weeks ago. I like it but I also feel myself feeling sad more often again. Hoping he can pull me out of this funk sooner than later.

Praying my little girl feels better soon -- just in time for me to get it. I feel it coming on. I can't remember ever getting this sick this often. I think my immune system is struggling right now. I'm sure the stress is causing it.

228 days. Mount Laundry has been conquered...until next time!