My Type

Day 126: They delivered our new furniture today. Looks like we are staying here and not running off to paradise for awhile longer. It looks good and is super comfy!

Last night we set out to make love but I just couldn't. It hurt. I felt so sad. I could feel my husband hurting as he held me and tried to comfort me. He did everything right, I just could not get past the overwhelming feelings that I was having.

Three months ago I was able to wrap myself around him and comfort him, now I feel like I can't even comfort myself. I guess this was the test that I was fearing...if he could carry both of us. He's doing a fine job at it, now that I have reached this point, but I'm ready to walk on my own again. I don't see that happening for awhile though. 

I felt safe and loved. I felt his patience while I worked through everything. Everything felt genuine.

Day 127: We all got up this morning and I walked out into the kitchen without my pajama/house pants on. Oops! My husband whisked me off to the bedroom during breakfast time and we made love. It felt good to be out of the funk that I was in the other night.

Then I treated him to a pre-planned, guilt free shopping trip for some new work clothes -- his have seen better days. He looked really good today. I haven't seen him look that secure about himself in awhile. It made me happy. I realized today that I have never stopped loving how he looks. Both of our bodies have changed since we got married but he is still the same ruggedly handsome man that I fell in love with over ten years ago.

If someone were to ask me what my "type" was before I met him I would have never described him but God sure knew what He was doing because he is most definitely my type! Built like I imagine Samson was. Shoulders big enough to fill a doorway, legs like trees, forearms that give me the safest feeling when I am holding onto them. He is husky and broad. His brow gives him a mysterious look over his doe eyes -- that our daughter got from him!  -- and his cheeks bones compliment his smile perfectly. His five o'clock shadow is here before noon and on day three he pulls off facial hair with the best of them.

238 days. I feel giddy.