The Most Amazing Love

Day 131: "You two have the most amazing love!"

That is a comment that someone made to me. I told my husband and he smiled and said it's true. Then he asked me how it made me feel. I couldn't quite figure out how I felt then but now I realize I feel like a fraud. I feel like, "if they only knew...would they still feel that way?" We talked about how so many people look up to us. He asked if I stuck around because of the pressure of everyone else (not that they know about the affairs but that they would obviously know if we split up). Without a doubt my answer is no. I would have left long ago if I were listening to others so staying because of them wouldn't make any sense. 


He said to me that he has always felt that God put us together to do great things. I know he is right. I know that God is going to use us, and has used us, to do amazing things. I want to be in that place. I want to feel like we are right where God wants us to be. I want to feel like we have the most amazing love. I do know that his love for me now is amazing. 


Last night we had a rough night and I fell asleep on the couch before he was ready to go to bed. When he woke me up to go to bed I was too tired and too grouchy to get up and I told him that I was sleeping on the couch. He never got mean and though he did get a little short, he never raised his voice. He kept himself composed and said that if I was than so was he. He brought me some blankets and snuggled up on the other end and we slept 'together' on the couch. This is a new man! It wasn't a test but he still passed. That is amazing love. He saw that there was a need -- a need to give in to my shortcomings -- and he fulfilled that in an incredible way. 


234 days. Getting there.