Choosing Hope

Day 114: Ahhh. I'm so tired lately I barely remember the days. Saturday we got off to a rocky start but we managed to pull it together and get some things accomplished. I had to go to the craft store to pick up some yarn and then we went to the hardware store and picked up a bunch of supplies to redo my sewing room. We got home late and had dinner as a family and then had a movie night with the babies.

After the babies went to bed things went south in a hurry and it ended in a lot of tears. I was trying to get him to understand something that I was saying and not until I started crying did he seem to even care to comfort me. Then suddenly he got really upset and told me to hit him but was also trying to hug me. I flipped out, yelled at him and told him not to touch me. He was really confusing me and something inside me was really scared of letting him in. He tried again to hug me and I screamed --really screamed-- at him not to touch me and then I jumped up and went to the other couch.

He came over and we talked for a long time. We've always made it a point not to go to bed angry. This night was no different.

Day 115: We woke without enough time to get ready for church since we were up so late.

He helped me all day in my sewing room. Moving things, framing and hanging pegboard, moving things again, moving all of my fabric (there is a lot of fabric). It was refreshing to work together so well. By mid afternoon we were beat. The sewing room was trashed but the boards were hung and the cabinet was moved and anchored to the wall. We got the babies ready to go over to watch the Super Bowl Game with some family! The evening was fun. With some help, I cooked several dozens of hot wings and there were lots of other goodies to munch on. We all ate and enjoyed watching the Steelers lose (please don't stop reading my blog if you are a Steelers fan, it's nothing personal).

We came home really late and crashed.

Day 116: Choosing hope.

When there is no human reason to hope then is the greatest time to find hope in Our Lord. He is the what gets us through when all seems lost. When everything seems ruined and over and there is no reason left to hope He is still there. He is still holding our hand, carrying our heart, wiping our tears.

249 days. Today I choose hope.