Ten Years Ago

Day 107: Saturday we were going to drive 3 hours to go shopping for a new carseat for our little man. That was the plan. However, my husband got this fantastic idea to go to an indoor water park resort for the night. After considering and reconsidering we decided to wait a day and go on Sunday. We spent Saturday gathering groceries and other things to offset some of the cost.

We were out most of the day running errands and just enjoying time out of the house after being cooped up for so long. It was a very pleasant day.

Day 108: We woke up and went to church. We have been planning on going to church for a long time but just finally made the commitment. We tried out a new church and, though it's not the right fit for our family, we really enjoyed ourselves and are so happy that we made the first step at finding a new family to worship with. The message was on tithing but there were still some points that the Pastor made that left me wondering if my husband was thinking about them and how they applied to our life as it is now.

After we left church, we came back home, grabbed the rest of the things that we needed and headed to the water park. We made a small pit stop to drop off the car that we had been borrowing and then continued on our way.

We pulled up to the resort and it was so grand. It is a somewhat local attraction to us but one that I have never visited. We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening swimming and playing and really unwinding from life. I felt so happy the whole night.

Once we got the babies settled in -- they conked out pretty easily after a day of swimming -- we snuggled up together, watched a little tv, had a snack and then turned in early. I knew all along that there was going to be some loving going on and I was totally on board. What I did not expect was the intense trigger that was going to come along.

All of the women he paid were met in a hotel room. I knew this but I thought I could overcome it without a meltdown. Wrong. We were all cuddled up together and my mind was going in every direction. I could not relax. My husband was being so loving and finally backed off a bit and said that he didn't know why but he felt like he should tell me that he never got under the covers with any of the women. I can't say that it made it all better -- I mean, he still had sex with them -- but it did comfort me knowing that he recognized that I was not doing well. I cried and he held me and told me that if I just wanted to cuddle that he understood (the way he said this was so heartfelt and sincere). I just let him hold me and melt away my sadness and then we made love.

Day 109: The babies slept in but we still had time to eat breakfast, pack up our things, and play in the water some more before we left to come back home. What a lovely getaway this was for us. I'm so glad that my husband created a beautiful weekend for our family.

Ten years ago today.
Ten years ago I met my husband for the first time.
Ten years ago I fell in love, though I didn't know it.
Ten years ago my breathe caught in my throat when I saw him. 
Ten years ago I saw him and felt different than I ever had before.
Ten years ago I saw him and felt different than I ever have again.
Ten years ago I met my best friend.
Ten years ago still gives me butterflies to think about.  
Ten years ago I gave my heart away.
Ten years ago today was the best day of my life.


I think I have smiled more today than I have in a long time.

256 days. When God made you, He must have been thinking about me.